


At Last

by Allie1804



Category: Real Person Fiction
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:21:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23498944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allie1804/pseuds/Allie1804
Summary: To her surprise, a colleague becomes the object of Keanu's affection
Kudos: 3





	1. She Couldn't See For Looking

Karen was startled by a folder being dropped onto her desk and the words “he wants you again” being uttered.

“What? Who?”

“Canoe of course”, her boss Jason replied laughing. Karen blushed but she was pleased as well as surprised that Keanu Reeves had yet more financial arrangements that needed her attention.

Karen worked for an LA based financial planning and accountancy firm which had an excellent reputation amongst celebrity clientele. Karen’s speciality was charitable donations such as endowments and trusts and she’d first met Keanu in 2000 at a party of her old college friend Brooke Langton. Brooke had acted with Keanu in ‘The Replacements’ in 1999 and became good friends with him. At that party Karen remembered how hard she’d fought to be cool and collected – she’d always had a bit of a crush on him and remembered how she’d giggled with Brooke when she snagged ‘The Replacements’ role

“Oh my God – you get to kiss him twice” she’d squealed whilst reading the script. Brooke had assured her that movie kissing wasn’t much fun really but did acknowledge even she was a little excited at the prospect!

The party was a Superbowl pizza party that Brooke often threw for close friends and this time she had thought it would be fun to invite some of the Replacements cast. Everyone of them who was in town had made it and there was a good mix of celebs and ‘normal’ people. Brooke had told her before what a normal down to earth guy Keanu was, but it was still weird to see that played out before her eyes with Keanu joining in with everyone, helping to make garlic bread and serving up the pizza and beers.

Karen was used to meeting Hollywood stars through her work and she’d met a few stars via Brooke’s acting career before so she wasn’t totally overcome by meeting Keanu and as a result, he seemed to feel comfortable talking to her. The evening had progressed and they found themselves alone in the kitchen getting the next pizza out of the oven.

“So what do you do, Karen isn’t it?”

“Yeah that’s right, Keanu isn’t it?” she’d teased which rewarded her with a hearty “ha ha” .

“Touché”

“Sorry, I shouldn’t tease you – I’m in financial planning actually, but my specialty is in setting up charitable donations and projects, mostly for people like yourself”

Keanu had been genuinely interested in her work – so interested that they arranged to meet again and a whole project ensued from that first chance introduction.

They’d spent a few weeks meeting regularly back then and Karen had thoroughly enjoyed working together and getting to know him. He’d decided on a theatre studies endowment scheme and she’d done all the research to find a suitable theatre school. She’d found Keanu’s desire for anonymity a refreshing change from the usual high profile deals she set up. Usually she had to spend more time liaising with the PR firms than she did on researching the credentials of the receiving charity – this time the reverse was true. The two of them had become good friends back then. They were always straying from the objectives of their meetings to talk about books they’d read and wanted to recommend for each other or plays and films to see. But the more Karen felt drawn to him, the more she forced herself to see it as ‘just work’ or ‘just friends’. Their worlds seemed so far apart and she imagined he had a pretty full love life anyway.

Since that first project, Karen felt she had pretty much become his financial advisor / PA. It had started with a very sad event - Keanu had called in to her office in April 2001. Ashen faced, he’d told her of the death in a car accident of his former girlfriend, Jennifer and had asked Karen to take control of paying all the bills for the funeral and dealing with her estate for him. He said he knew it wasn’t her speciality but he’d prefer to deal with somebody he was already comfortable with. 

The frequency of his dealings with her office had fluctuated over the years, seemingly depending on his schedule and income. It was now early 2007 and Keanu had been a regular visitor at Karen’s company in recent weeks calling on her to set up a number of long term financial investments. Jason popped his head round the door of Karen’s office again.

“He said he’d call by this afternoon to pick you up on the way”

“What?”

Karen looked at Jason, bemused, then flicked the file open. In it she found some house details and a hand-written note :-

“I’ve got some major expenses coming up and urgently need financial advice! – Keanu”

Karen chuckled – it was a typically brief message -maybe he was going to show her the property or something. “Shit, do I look decent” she suddenly thought – and then cursed herself for even worrying – this wasn’t a date but another business meeting! The frequent meetings lately had pushed Karen to face her feelings about him. Her love life had actually been very low key ever since she’d met him, only going on the occasional date and only once or twice had she had sex with any of them. She knew in her heart that her feelings for him were the real reason she hadn’t let anyone else get close. She told herself she had to stop mooning about him and just accept that she could be his friend and advisor but nothing more. His was another world and whilst he was always charming to her, she knew that this was his reputation with everyone. 

………………………………………………………………………….

Keanu rose early that morning, shoved the property details in his brown satchel and headed out on the Norton to Karen’s office. He made sure he got their early as he knew Karen usually went to the gym before work and started at 9.30 so he’d miss her. He wanted a build up to the house viewing, after all, if he was right and she could be persuaded to look at him the way he looked at her, then a little build up could work to his advantage. He wasn’t used to being the pursuer - even before he’d been famous, he’d not struggled to attract female attention – but he relished the challenge.

Back at home, he threw open his wardrobe doors and rubbed his hands together

“Let me see, let me see” he said out loud perusing the array of jackets and shirts before him. He tried to remember the times when they’d been working together on projects in the past and whether she had given any sign of appreciating ‘grungy’ Keanu or ‘all dressed up’ Keanu. In the end he decided on some old favourites. Faded denims, his big old boots, a white T and a suede jacket. He left his patchy beard too thinking he didn’t want to look unusually ‘brushed up’

He didn’t get ready yet since the appointment at the house wasn’t til around 5 – purposely late so if all went well, he would ask her back to his place to share a take out. He’d think of some excuse to do with budgeting for the new place.

He lay down on the bed and picked up the script he was reading through but 5 minutes in he realised he hadn’t taken in a word. He was still pondering Karen’s feelings for him. There was definitely an intellectual spark between them, of that he was sure, it was her attraction to him that left him questioning. Quite a few times he’d been sure he’d seen one of those subtle shimmers of desire cross her face when she looked at him, then the minute he was ready to turn on the charm, push the flirting to warp factor ten, he’d see the barriers come down and she’d somehow push him way – he couldn’t even put his finger on how she did it. Maybe it would be the subtle change of subject from some book which they were both enthusing about (he’d be on the point of saying ‘I love the way we love the same books ……. I love the way you ………’) and she’d zig zag away to another topic and he’d hold his council. He’d even asked her out to plays once or twice but she’d always been busy with work. He’d thought maybe she was just scared of being seen out with him which was reasonable enough although it never seemed to worry her when she had her business papers and laptop with her.

‘Shit, gotta concentrate!’

He forced himself to get on with the task in hand and just wait to see how things played out later. He wasn’t exactly sure what he was going to do but maybe involving her in such a personal thing as his next house would bring things bubbling to the surface. “Oh yeah, Karen bubbling up for me, making me bubble up…” He chuckled and shook his head “Oh what a piece of work is man! I’m 42 and still horny as a teenager!”

He finally did manage to stop thinking about later and got on with reading the script.

………………………………………………….

Around 4.30, Karen heard the familiar gasps and whispers that always accompanied a celebrity visit. Even though they had many famous clients, the staff were not immune to it. Just as she saw him approaching her office, the phone rang. He knocked at the door and she beckoned him in smiling as she answered her mum’s call. She promised to call her mum later and hung up, getting up and walking round the desk to greet him warmly.

“We can’t seem to keep you away lately can we?”

He laughed and she actually thought she caught him blush a little so she quickly added:

“You know we love to see you here – you must be able to tell by the reaction of the office out there! Anyway, what’s this mystery file all about?”

He chuckled.

“‘Shall we go see?”

“I’d love to” she replied.

They walked out of the office together. Karen could feel everyone’s eyes follow them.

“How did you ever get used to that?” she asked as they emerged outside

“What? Oh the eyes following you …….?”

She nodded.

“Years of practice” he grinned. Keanu looked Karen up and down then and she felt herself flush.

“You don’t look dressed for a bike ride” (she was wearing an elegant navy dress, flaring out from her hips and coming down to mid calf length “Can we take your car?” he asked 

“Oh yeah sure” she responded, understanding his motive now.

They took her car and he directed her to a quiet area in the Hollywood Hills. Pulling up to a Spanish style villa, Karen saw a car parked outside. As they drew up and Keanu stepped out, a middle aged woman emerged from the car

“That’s the agent there” Keanu explained. Having exchanged greetings, they followed the woman into the main entrance, Keanu guiding Karen with his hand at the small of her back. She couldn’t help the frisson that crept up her spine but took a deep breath and tried to focus away from the excitement his proximity created.

The agent gave them a tour of the house and about half way round, Karen became painfully aware that she clearly thought they were a couple and she felt she must correct the misapprehension, dreading to think of some story getting out about Keanu’s latest woman that might cause him embarrassment.

“….and this will be your guest bedroom”

“No, no, I’m not, I mean, I’m Mr Reeves’ financial advisor, I’m here to… actually I’m not entirely sure why I am here…” her voice trailed off and she blushed. Why was she always blushing in his company?

“You’re here as my friend and because I value your opinion” Keanu said smiling.

“Oh, OK then” Karen smiled still a little embarrassed.

A short while after, the agency rep left them to look around alone whilst she made some calls and Keanu took Karen back to some particular rooms he had plans for. On the first floor, he took her hand and pulled her along the hallway, running towards what he said was the best room of all. They climbed a stairway into an attic room and he told her it was to be the children’s guestroom.

“I’ve got so many friends now with young kids that I thought I could get it painted real bright and funky and put in some bunk beds, some bean bags, a TV, DVD player etc so that when I have parties they can all sleep over. At least that’s the plan for now”

“What comes next? A picket fence, a dog….a wife”

Karen had asked, laughing

“I’m working on it” he answered turning on his heel before Karen could get chance to read his expression. 

“Hey wanna see the bathroom – it’s to DIE for”

Karen put on her best smile but was still thinking about just who he was working on. 

Later on in the car, Karen questioned him further on what her role was in visiting the house.

“Seriously, I wanted a 2nd opinion and when I thought of all my friends, you seemed the obvious choice in a league table of good taste and common sense”

“Thanks” Karen smiled at the complement.

“And I guess I could use some financial advice too – you know trying to weigh up running costs and so on, to make sure I can really afford it”

Karen just snorted at that. She knew the ins and outs of Keanu’s wealth intimately and was aware just how few of his millions he’d spent.

You’ll be fine and you know it” she laughed.

“Well maybe we should do some paper work – we need some cover to make out to Jason that this was a real job and not just a bunk off work for you. Do you have your lap top with you?”

Karen nodded.

“What do you say to Chinese take out and some quick sums over at my place this evening?”

“Sure sounds good” Karen rolled her eyes “Well, the take out part anyway!”

Around 10pm that evening Karen was thinking of making her excuses to leave – she really didn’t want to - they’d had fun talking about his plans for the house and she’d been really glad for him that he seemed to be enjoying strengthening his roots. As ever though, she didn’t want to be confronted any longer with her desire to be more than a friend to him and the impossibility of that ever happening. She kept turning over his comment about “working on it” that afternoon but didn’t dare to pry, knowing how protective he was of his privacy even amongst friends.

Keanu returned from the kitchen (having cleared away the take-out cartons), bringing them each another beer and two bowls – one of strawberries and one of whipped cream.

“Oh Keanu you shouldn’t have, I should really be leaving soon”

“Oh come on, humour me, it’s Friday night, no work tomorrow, and you shouldn’t really drive home – you’re probably over the limit and you can stay in my guest room ………. pretty please”

He made marvellous, baleful puppy dog eyes and shoved the strawberries and cream towards her on the coffee table.

“You know you want to!” 

Karen gave in and grabbed the beer from him. She got up from the floor where she’d been sitting.

“OK, OK - I’ll go get some bowls and spoons for the dessert.”

“Nah, sit back down” (he patted the floor next to him) “we can just eat them al fresco”

“Huh?” Karen was perplexed.

“Like this”

Keanu grabbed a strawberry, plunged it into the whipped cream and popped it into Karen’s surprised mouth, holding on and pulling out the hull for her. Her lips slid over his long fingers making the sensuality in the action unmistakable and suddenly Karen felt annoyed with him. Emboldened by the alcohol she’d consumed, she decided to confront the issue on her mind.

“Come on Ke……. Don’t thrust forbidden fruit in my face”

“What, you’re not allergic to strawberries or something are you?” he smirked.  
He was pushing her now and he knew it but he couldn’t help it, her words had given him the hope he’d been praying for.

“I think you understand me perfectly well” she said, casting her eyes down and wishing now she’d not said anything – there was no going back now. She was going to have to tell him. 

He decided on playing it straight, a little dumb even. The mischief left his eyes and he looked confused and a little annoyed too.

“Who’s forbidding whom what?!”

Now confusion flooded Karen’s mind – she struggled to really know herself what exactly the problem was and the consequences of confessing her feelings whirled round her mind. From Keanu’s posture, she sensed exasperation with her elongated silence and blurted out ……

“It’s you, me … I can’t, you wouldn’t want” she stammered.

“You’re making no sense Karen. What are you trying to say?”

Karen drew a deep breath, pondering for a moment what his response might be if she really told the truth.

Keanu waited, “please, please” he thought.  
“Gosh, well, you see, it’s like this”. Karen paused once more for what seemed like ages but was really only a few seconds. “I think I’d like to be more than just your financial advisor”

He met her eyes with his and answered in his soft baritone.

“You are”

“More than just a friend”

“You are”

“More than your good friend even,” she rushed on “and I know that from where you’re sitting, you’ve this vast world of choice and opportunity and I daren’t, I can’t expect ….anything so.…”

Having blurted all this out, Karen cast her eyes down now, shy, embarrassed to meet his eyes, not able to finish her statement, thinking that she just needed to get away, to step back, to not get hurt”

“You don’t know, do you?” Keanu stated leaning round now to try and look her in the eyes. He felt the oddest mixture of relief and excitement then - relief that he hadn’t been wrong and excitement that now, now he really could woo her. 

“Know what?” she asked still looking studiously down at her fingers.

“Karen, why do you think I’ve been so active lately with my charitable giving? Karen? Karen, look at me! Why have I been setting up investment plans, endowments, pensions…….”

He let his words hang in the air and a little light went on in Karen’s head followed by her own rush of excitement, a daring to hope. She covered her face and peaked out from between her fingers.

“Because you‘re worried about your financial security?” she ventured, knowing how silly that sounded now.

Keanu moved then and knelt before her, taking first one and then the other hand away from her face.

“Karen, I’ve been trying to woo you these past couple of months, been carrying a torch for you ever since we first worked on the theatre endowment …….I was beginning to lose hope that you’d ever cave in”  
He laughed a little then and Karen looked up, allowing herself to look into his eyes, which she saw now, were twinkling. 

“Kiss me” he murmured.

Her face flushed instantly and she felt another rush of mixed emotions course through her – oh sure, first came the anticipation of a wonderful kiss but anxiety at living up to his expectations (and no doubt vast experience) pushed its way in along with the simple fear of opening herself to another person. Sensing her trepidation, Keanu reached to caress her cheek.

“Let it all go Karen the fear …….” 

“I’m sorry” she said biting her lip and casting her eyes down.

“Because” he continued “you have to believe that this could be the start of something wonderful” 

He didn’t give her a chance to reply, leaning in to kiss her, tentatively at first, lips closed and then, holding her eyes with his, he teased her lips open with his tongue and swirled his tongue around hers. Both of them let out a gentle moan and she felt his arms wrap around her back and pull her into an increasingly passionate embrace. She felt like she was slipping away, like they both were, into some new place somehow separate from themselves. Eventually they pulled away from each other to draw breath, Keanu still cupping Karen’s cheek with his big hand.

“See” he said “Are you starting to believe now?” his eyes danced and a smile played around his lips at his reference to the famous Matrix lines.

“Ah ha” was all she could manage to say.

Keanu leaned in and touched his forehead to hers

“Stay with me tonight” he whispered

Karen let out her breath, only just then realising she had been holding it after that first kiss.

Once again, fear welled up from the pit of her stomach and Keanu saw its shadow cross her face.

“Let the fear go Karen” he said gently

“How do you know?” she mumbled

“We all have it don’t we? Our reasons may be different but we do all have it” he paused “at moments like this”

“You do?”

“Yes” he nodded vigorously.

“But what could you be afraid of?”

He chuckled.

“I’m not Neo you know, I know I said before you have to believe, and I do think that’s the way to go but hey I worry … that you might have expectations ……. pre-conceptions” he laughed at the word’s double meaning ….. “About me, you know …… from out there” he waved his hand distractedly to the side and blushed ever so slightly.

“Oh!” Karen smiled “All that stuff ‘out there’ (she made quote marks in the air) has a lot to answer for doesn’t it?!”

Uh.. Yeah!” he nodded emphatically.

“So,” he said, clasping her hand and threading their fingers together “let’s promise each other to leave ‘out there’ out there and focus on how we felt just then, kissing ……… did you feel that, I mean it wasn’t just me was it ?”

“No no no, it wasn’t just you. I felt …….outside of myself like I was  
Slipping away with you” she breathed.

He stood then, pulling her up to him and beginning a hot probing kiss. Karen’s knees almost gave way and she threw her arms around his neck to steady herself. Breaking the kiss, Keanu led the way to his bedroom. Karen barely had time to take in the room’s cream and burgundy colours before he took her in his arms again. 

Tugging at his t-shirt, she freed it and ran her hands up his back. He moaned into her mouth now, deepening his kiss and finding the zip at the back of her dress. Karen pulled away reluctantly to deal with the inconvenience of her clothes and he did the same, flinging his jeans and t shirt across the room. They stood before each other then, in their underwear still and Karen placed a hand on his golden chest feeling his warmth and his heart beating.

Keanu pushed the straps of her bra down and bent to suckle her nipple through the lace of her bra. He quickly released the clasp behind her back and broke contact momentarily to allow Karen to slip her arms free and toss the bra away. She ran her fingers through his silky hair as he suckled a little longer on her breast before moving his kisses down her belly and gently tugging her panties down, breathing in her scent. She stepped free from her panties and began her own trail of kisses, dropping to her knees and kissing down his belly scar until she reached his black silk boxers, straining taught over his erect cock. He let out a shuddering breath as she pulled the elastic apart in order to pull them down. He stepped out of them and she stayed kneeling, licking up the length of his shaft to the tip here a drop of pre-cum glistened.

“Careful there” he breathed, encouraging her to come back up to his lips now. They began to kiss again hands exploring, pressing and stroking. Keanu’s hand dropped down between her legs, fingers finding flowing juices and easy entry. He moaned deep in his throat now manoeuvring Karen so that her back was towards the bed.

He pulled away again and looked into her eyes. His looked almost all black so dilated were his pupils.

“We need protection?” he stated, “I’ll go get…”

“No wait, Keanu I’m on the pill, for my periods”, she blushed “but I’ve not had sex without a condom in years. Please I want to feel you ……….inside”

“ohhhhh god” he practically growled. “I’m OK too, I mean I’ve had a test, for insurance for the next movie. You sure ?”

“Yes!”

He needed no further invitation and pushed her gently down onto the bed, falling onto her but breaking his fall with his forearm. She could feel him all over now, his hard cock pushing against her stomach. Her legs parted instinctively to allow him entry but instead he kneeled up in front of her, cupping her bottom and pulling her up, raising her slowly, oh so slowly onto him, moaning low in his throat. Karen let out little gasps as he stretched her, filling her.

“You OK?” he asked feeling her still tight around him.

“Yes just take it slow” She caressed his cheek blushing a little “It’s been a while!”

“Me too” he said honestly, smiling.

He grew serious then, licking his thumb and bringing it gently down onto her throbbing clit. He practically growled as her vagina reacted to his touch, clamping tightly around him. Karen let out little gasps with each movement of his thumb, arching her back and raising her hips to meet his gentle thrusts. Their arousal was climbing rapidly now and Karen called him to her then, surprising herself with the ferocity of her demands.

“Come to me, cum with me now!”

He moaned, ceasing the exquisite pleasure-pain he had been administering to her clit and moved atop her now, starting agonisingly slow gyrating thrusts. He could feel her open fully to him then, hot liquid flowing freely from within to make his passage easy. After each few slow thrusts, he would drop his head down to catch her lips with a kiss until, feeling his pace quicken and his cock stiffening further, she pulled him down to hold him to her as close as she could, cupping the globes of his buttocks, stopping him from lifting his body away from her any longer. She opened her eyes as did he, and they held each other’s gaze as they neared release. It came upon them then, roaring up and flowing out of them both. She felt herself slipping away, blacking out momentarily then becoming molten, hazy, shimmery. 

He lay with his head burrowed in her neck, panting, coming to for a moment then fell to kissing her again, nibbling at her lips tenderly.

“You ok?” he asked.

“Mmmmm, very OK” she murmured

“See I told you, you just had to believe!”


	2. She's My Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keanu and Karen's relationship moves to a more committed level

Part 2 - She’s My Girl

6 Months Later:

Karen looked herself up and down in the mirror, smoothing down the dress and checking every last detail of her appearance even though the stylist had only just that minute left the room. Keanu came in then and stood behind her, putting his arms around her and looking at her reflection in the mirror

“You look beautiful … perfect” he said, kissing her cheek

“You ready?”

“As I’ll ever be!” she laughed nervously.

“You know you can pull out if you want to, I’ll understand”

”We agreed, no more sneaking around. I’m your girl right?!

“Yes” he said emphatically, you’re my girl”. He smiled hugging her tight. “And I want to show you off”

They were on their way to the premiere of the “Street Kings”. They’d been dating 6 months now and managed to avoid all but one paparazzi photo. Since Keanu had often been photographed out and about with various women, this particular photo didn’t spark any big stories about Keanu’s “new girl”. He’d wanted to protect her from all that so when they’d gone to the theatre or out to eat, they’d always arrived separately. The same went for parties with friends and when visiting each other’s homes, they’d tried to avoid daylight hours for their comings and goings.

The night that he had asked her to accompany him to the premiere was etched on her mind forever. They had enjoyed cooking a meal together at his house then made love in his big bed. As they lay together enjoying the afterglow, he’d softly traced patterns on her breasts and let out a contented sigh.

“You know, the sex is so much better ……….”

“Than what?!” Karen had asked somewhat indignantly wondering what he was going to compare their experience together with!

“Than when you’re not in love with a person”

Karen bit her lip and leaned towards him, tears welling up in her eyes.

“You know I love you too right? So very much.”

They fell to kissing again and as he pulled her onto him, she felt his arousal already growing again. Their lovemaking had been so tender that night, she thought she might burst from the joy of it. And afterwards they’d talked about the future, of moving in together finally after months of camping out at each other’s places, about his next filming obligations and his commitments to promoting the new film, He’d said that while he’d understand if she wanted to try to carry on being secretive with the press, he couldn’t protect her forever and he felt ready to show her off to the world as he’d already done with friends and family.

His people could help with all the practical side of a premiere – a dress, jewellery, make-up – all she needed was the courage to face the cameras popping and the attention that going public would bring, at least in the short term. She had felt scared and excited in equal measure and now here she was, ready to get into the limo.

“No turning back now” she said firmly.

“Well OK then” he answered, smiling, “Let’s go! The limo’s here now”

The premiere was being held at Mann’s Chinese theatre and as they rounded the last corner Karen could see the small crowd gathered there waiting. Waiting just for him it occurred to her since he was the leading man in the film.

Her palms felt sweaty and she gripped his hand as the car slowed now to stop right outside.

He stepped out first and she could see the flash of the camera bulbs popping away, then he turned to help her out putting his arms around her waist immediately.

“Smile!” he said! ” Don’t look so worried!”

She laughed then, relaxing just a little.

“I’m smiling, I’m your girl” she whispered.

They walked up the red carpet slowly with him doing his signature wave to the people calling his name. They came to the first camera crew and Keanu talked about the film a little with the reporter. Karen tried to edge back a little as he talked, conscious that the news people only wanted to have his face in the picture but he held her close to him, arm around her shoulders, willing the crew to ask him who she was.

To Karen’s great relief, they didn’t but she was aware that another crew eagerly waited just a few yards ahead.

Keanu let go of her to shake hands with a few fans across the barrier and to accept a gift from one, then returned to her side to press ahead up the carpet.

Keanu greeted the next reporter, warmly. She was clearly one of his preferred media people. Again he politely answered questions about the film, reprising his role as a cop and so on.

“So Keanu, I see you haven’t come tonight with your usual family entourage”

“No that’s right” he smiled one of those beautiful mega-watt smiles and looked at Karen who was by now already blushing, praying her make-up might offer some cover.

“Tonight I decided to show off my girl Karen”

Karen giggled, still looking down but sharing in his obvious enjoyment of the situation.

“Pleased to meet you” the reporter said extending her hand and forcing Karen to look up and face the full glare of popping flash-bulbs.

“You too” she managed before to her relief the reporter turned back to camera.

“That’s one lucky lady, he’s usually so tight-lipped, perhaps she’s ‘the one’

As they walked onwards, Keanu hugged Karen to him 

“Yes she most certainly is!”

That day had been the start of a rollercoaster ride for them both. Having managed to lead quite a low key life with the press in the previous couple of years, Keanu was taken aback by the interest the ‘vultures’ as he liked to call them, showed in them. It was easy enough for them personally to ignore what was written or said and Keanu’s family and friends were used it but it seemed like anyone Karen had ever known phoned her at some point to ask whether this or that was true. Articles that dug deep into Keanu’s past and even hers, searching for some dirt, made them worry for her, doubting that he was as good for her as she claimed. 

He half wished he’d waited, waited till the PR for the film had died down - this way he’d fanned the flames. Every interview he did, they asked about her – but even though he wasn’t used to it and worried it would detract from the work, sometimes it was just wonderful to wax lyrical about being in love. On the Leno show, for once it wasn’t just talk of bikes that made him laugh and smile, he’d been able to just say:

“Ahh yes, right right, yup, I’m in love!”

“So, do we hear wedding bells for you at long last?”

Keanu had laughed that shy laugh, putting his hand over his mouth, closing his eyes.

“Don’t you think I‘d better ask her that first before I tell you!” he’d said.

He knew she’d be watching at home. The minute he got there, he rushed to her, kissing her full on the lips, feeling like every romantic hero he’d ever played all rolled into one. 

“You will marry me won’t you ?” he’d practically shouted, giddy with the moment. Talking as if there’d been no gap between talking about it on the show and asking her now.

“Yes, yes ofcourse I’ll marry you, you idiot! She laughed punching him in the chest “but you do know it’s going to be one hell of a job to do it in private now don’t you?”

“So you’d already been thinking about it had you” he smiled a sly smile now.

“Oh maybe Reeves, maybe!” she’d said, laughing before he’d whisked her off to bed.

Thanks to hard work by his people and the collaboration of friends and family, they had managed to have a wonderful wedding day. They’d taken a leaf out of Sandy Bullock’s book and hired a ranch way out of LA (to at least make it harder for the ‘paps’ to get to) and kept the identity of the happy couple secret from all the firms involved right up to the hour of the ceremony. It had worked and in return for being left alone, they’d released just a few snaps of the day to a magazine in return for a donation of the fee to the ‘Make a Wish Foundation’


	3. Hard Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keanu and Karen suffer a painful loss

6 Months later

Karen gasped again as the pain constricted her stomach and she felt more blood dripping down into the toilet. A sob heaved her chest and she held her head in her hands, feeling panic rising. 

“He’ll be back soon” she thought, “all ready to set off on his trip, how could I put him through this, what have I done?”

She heard the door slam and Keanu calling her name as he entered their home.

“Karen, I’m home. Honey? Where are you?”

“Here” she managed to shout, not able to keep her voice normal as another wave of pain ran through her belly and she groaned loudly.

She heard his steps coming quickly up the stairs now.

“You OK, I thought I heard you moan ……

He burst through the door and saw her sitting there, face red and puffy from crying.

She saw the horror stricken look on his face.

“Oh Karen, no, no, no, baby, not this, no”

He crouched down in front of her and took her face in his hands. All she could do is let out a stifled sob and throw her arms round his neck

“I think I‘m losing the baby” I’m so so sorry, so sorry” That’s all she kept saying as she held on to him. Over and over, “sorry, sorry, sorry”

He stayed still, rubbing her back but inside a maelstrom of emotions had been released, emotions he realised that had been building up ever since those 2 blue lines had appeared on the pregnancy test, probably even 2 months before then, when they’d said that ‘ yes’ they would try for a baby. He knew in his heart of hearts, he wanted to be a father more than practically anything else in his life and yet now part of him wanted to just flee, back to the workaholic days when almost nothing mattered other than his need to act. There, with no wife and no pregnancy, almost nothing could hurt him and he knew this hurt only too well. Knew you couldn’t escape it, not ever, because you were grieving something you would never have. You couldn’t look back eventually and give thanks for the time you did have because it was forever lost – in some other alternate reality where tragedy hadn’t struck. 

He’d held it all back, for her. He hadn’t wanted to sully her enjoyment, her excitement at being pregnant with his ugly fears. That wasn’t fair. So he’d trawled the internet when she was asleep, searching for statistics on still birth. Spoken to the consultant privately who’d said how rare it was and how an early miscarriage was a much greater risk for a first time mum…………. “How right he had been” he thought bitterly. The memory of the silent hospital room that had plagued his sleep lately was not what he should have feared at all. 

Another pain hit Karen and she screamed now in agony, making Keanu come to his senses.

“Karen” he said looking at her, tears streaking his cheeks “I think we should get you to hospital, yeah? We should get you checked out. Get you some help with this goddam pain.”

“But what about the film? Your flight? You’re supposed to be on set tomorrow.”

“Fuck it they’ll have to wait, shoot some other stuff first, re-organise. I’ll call them later. Don’t worry, I won’t leave you like this. Stay there, I’ll go get some clean clothes and we’ll go straight there.” 

He left her then, moving into action mode, blocking out all the thoughts that had been rushing through his head moments before. “She needs me now, focus on that for now” he told himself. He managed to find some sanitary pads as well and helped Karen to dress then threw some more things into a bag and helped her into the Porsche. They’d called ahead so the consultant was expecting them. They went straight into his office to have an ultrasound, Keanu praying that she was wrong but knowing in his heart that the signs weren’t good. She should have been 10 weeks along, but where 3 weeks before there had been a tiny kidney-bean shaped form, its heart-beat flickering away like a mini lighthouse on the monitor, there was now just a still form, not much bigger than before, no longer flashing its signal of well-being. Silent tears rolled down Keanu’s cheeks and Karen just sobbed, gripping his hand tightly. 

The doctor went through the treatment options with them both and Karen was booked in for a D&C as soon as possible. Keanu ensured that her room would be private and well away from the maternity wing, remembering that dreadful night where from their silent room, they had heard the cries of other women in labour and new borns arriving. Once they had settled Karen into bed and given her some pain killers, she drifted off to sleep and Keanu went and sat in a quiet spot in the hospital’s gardens to make a few calls – the studio to arrange his delayed arrival on the set, his mum, Rob and Kim, Karen’s mum. Then he sat and smoked his way rapidly through 3 cigarettes. 

His head spun again with the pressure of those bottled up thoughts he’d been holding at bay for the last hour. “God damn fuck it all to hell!” he said throwing his head back in frustration. No one was there to hear his outburst or see the tears which overcame him again. He didn’t even really know what exactly he was crying about – “take your pick” he thought wryly, was it the loss of this baby, this fatherhood or the earlier loss of Ava, or fear of losing Karen just as he’d lost Jen. He fought to control his anger, knowing it’s destructive power – there was no-one to blame and he knew if he didn’t master it, if they both couldn’t master it, it would turn them against each other and themselves. He blew out the last puff of smoke from the side of his mouth. John Constantine flashed through his mind (“God I smoked like a chimney on that set!”) stubbed out the butt and took a deep breath. “I just need to go to her and hold her” he thought. “Do something positive Keanu” he thought.

When he got back Karen was awake but still woozy from the pain meds.

“Hey” she said “You OK?”

“Yeah, yeah” he said giving her a small smile, marvelling at her concern for him when she must be suffering so much herself”

She took his hand and squeezed it.

“I wish I could take it all away, this ……… Ava”

She knew something of his heart then without him having to say. Her understanding spread through him with a comforting warmth. 

“Is there room for me up there?” 

“ah ha”

“I just need to hold you, is that OK?”

“That’s just what I need too”

She talked softly to him then.

“Maybe in some other world, we will have that child, but in this one we have to wait a while longer. I remember reading an interview with you that made me cry for you – we were just friends then. It was with some famous author and he talked to you about death….

“yeah, yeah, I remember, he made me cry!”

“I know sweet-heart ” Karen stroked his cheek

“Well the thing I remember most is you saying that it stuck in your craw when people say ‘things happen for a reason…… and he said maybe they should just leave off ‘for a reason’”

“Yeah yeah, they should! – god I feel like a fucking jinx though”

“No, no, no, no one is to blame. How could someone as impossibly beautiful and   
kind as you be responsible for this?!”

He closed his eyes and touched his forehead to hers.

“Thank you. I love you so much you know”

“I know, me too”

“And you know”

“What?”

“You don’t have to put on a brave face, for me”

She cried and cried then, letting him hold her until the quakes subsided at last, knowing he’d be there for her when they took her again.

…………………………….


	4. Happy Endings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alls well that ends well

1 Year later

Looking down now at the dark mop of hair on his newborn daughter’s head, as she lay in his arms, Keanu saw that those quiet moments together talking, accepting, clearing the air, had been a defining moment in how they’d handled losing the baby. There had been days since when he’d felt blighted by all the loss in his life but mostly he had felt lucky that Karen was there to help him and he was there to help her.

And now he felt the luckiest man alive.

The End.


End file.
